Blog Entry #10

[smellslikebutz]

Well, the road was long and winding, but you’ll all be glad to know that my journey has finally come to an end! And you know what I discovered? That Larry Butz guy? He ain’t such a useless waste of space after all! I should have realized it sooner. I mean, self-centered, lazy, anti-social…

Why didn’t you guys tell me I was an artist!? Yeesh…

Comments

[attorneyatlol]

Larry, you’re one of the most social people I know. Whenever we talk, you either have plans made or try to make plans with me.

[probablythebutz.livejournal.com]

Then I guess all that’s about to change!

[attorneyatlol]

But why?

[probablythebutz.livejournal.com]

Geez, Nick! Don’t you know anything? Artists have a certain image they need project! I can’t embrace the whole ‘starving artist’ ideal with you cramping my style!

[attorneyatlol]

Call me crazy, but I don’t think ‘starving’ is the ideal…

[probablythebutz.livejournal.com]

You just don’t get it, man. No wonder you flunked out of art school!

[attorneyatlol]

Hey, hey! I didn’t flunk! I switched majors!

[attorneyatlol]

And at least I went to college. Geez…

[probablythebutz.livejournal.com]

Same difference. Anyway, as an artist, I’ve gotta possess certain eccentricities and anti-sociality is one of them!

[attorneyatlol]

You’ve got enough of those without it, believe me…

[probablythebutz.livejournal.com]

You think…!?

[attorneyatlol]

Larry… Listen, you become at artist by making art, not by acting the way you think an artist should act. It’s like…

[attorneyatlol]

It’s like with me. I call myself a defense attorney because I defend people. If I thought I had to ‘embrace’ what people think a lawyer should be, I’d look to lawyer jokes for inspiration.

[probablythebutz.livejournal.com]

Lawyer jokes? Oh, you mean like… “Arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it.” You mean like that?

[attorneyatlol]

Er, yeah… like that…

[probablythebutz.livejournal.com]

That one reminds me of Edgey.

[probablythebutz.livejournal.com]

Oh, and how about: what's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

[attorneyatlol]

Larry...

[probablythebutz.livejournal.com]

The pronunciation!

[attorneyatlol]

…Yeah. Anyway.

[attorneyatlol]

The point is you define what you are; what you are doesn’t define you.

[probablythebutz.livejournal.com]

Oh! Oh! And what about this one?

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.

"That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman!"

"Shut up!" barked the devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork. "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

[attorneyatlol]

…Okay, I give up.

[probablythebutz.livejournal.com]

What should you do if you find a lawyer buried up to his neck in cement?

[maraich]

I'd snuggle up to Phoenix!